I Trust in You Lord

PSALM 31

Verse 6

I will be glad and rejoice in your love,
   for you saw my affliction
   and knew the anguish of my soul.
^{Verse 15}

  My times are in your hands; 

How abundant are the good things
   that you have stored up for those who fear you,
that you bestow in the sight of all,
   on those who take refuge in you.  

Verse 14

But I trust in you, LORD;
   I say, “You are my God.” 

Trust has been hard lately. And its not that I "don't" trust God, it's more that I question Him and His timing. I know God's timing is perfect. I know He has good things stored up for me, He knows the anguish of my soul, my time is in His hands.

It helps to say these verses~these promises~over and over to keep reminding myself.  I'm really not in a place of depression. I'm not angry. I guess I'm just being impatient. I feel a little lost...like I'm in limbo. Where's my kicker? (anyone watch Inception? haha) Jacob and I are both open to adoption. I feel like we probably will adopt someday.  I dont know if now is the time. Maybe it is, but we haven't felt that calling quite yet.  This is where I wish my direction from God would be clear. Yes adopt now, or wait, you'll get pregnant on your own. I want to start the process now if that's the road we are to take. I'm at a standstill right now. At a three way stop sign stuck in the middle. Going backwards a little even. No meds this cycle. No IUI. Waiting...

This week I found out I am definitely having the laparoscopic surgery. They will take out any remaining cysts and any endometriosis they find. I'm guessing they will find a lot! Anyway, I was happy to get the call~I've been wanting to have this surgery done for awhile now. This last cycle when I had to go home from work due to bad cramps was my last straw. I was going to FORCE my doctor to do the surgery! I'm sick of these ridiculous cramps! 

My surgery is scheduled for April 29. I was bummed I have to wait a whole month but that's what happens when you go to a popular Dr and popular hospital I guess! I'm excited to see what will become of the surgery. I am on a waiting list to get in sooner, but I'm no real hopeful that that will actually happen. (But praying it does!)