Monday, March 28, 2011

Multitude Mondays & Marriage Edition

11. Weekends with no agenda
12. Yard work that gets done
13. A new tree planted in the yard
14. Little pink blossoms and flowers popping up
15. Shopping and lunch with the hubby
16. Good news
17. A couple hours with my niece and nephew
18. Gluten free menu at PF Changs
19. A visit from a friend
20. PB Chocolate Easter eggs

Happy Monday!


This was my fortune I got at PF Changs this weekend. I opened it and said "Yay! My lost treasure will be here in a month!"  Jacob says: "What? Your uterus?"

LOL.  What?!! I still have a uterus dear. We got a good laugh out of that. 

Friday, March 25, 2011

I Trust in You Lord


Verse 6
I will be glad and rejoice in your love,
   for you saw my affliction
   and knew the anguish of my soul.
Verse 15
  My times are in your hands; 
How abundant are the good things
   that you have stored up for those who fear you,
that you bestow in the sight of all,
   on those who take refuge in you.  
Verse 14
But I trust in you, LORD;
   I say, “You are my God.” 

Trust has been hard lately. And its not that I "don't" trust God, it's more that I question Him and His timing. I know God's timing is perfect. I know He has good things stored up for me, He knows the anguish of my soul, my time is in His hands.

It helps to say these verses~these promises~over and over to keep reminding myself.  I'm really not in a place of depression. I'm not angry. I guess I'm just being impatient. I feel a little I'm in limbo. Where's my kicker? (anyone watch Inception? haha) Jacob and I are both open to adoption. I feel like we probably will adopt someday.  I dont know if now is the time. Maybe it is, but we haven't felt that calling quite yet.  This is where I wish my direction from God would be clear. Yes adopt now, or wait, you'll get pregnant on your own. I want to start the process now if that's the road we are to take. I'm at a standstill right now. At a three way stop sign stuck in the middle. Going backwards a little even. No meds this cycle. No IUI. Waiting...

This week I found out I am definitely having the laparoscopic surgery. They will take out any remaining cysts and any endometriosis they find. I'm guessing they will find a lot! Anyway, I was happy to get the call~I've been wanting to have this surgery done for awhile now. This last cycle when I had to go home from work due to bad cramps was my last straw. I was going to FORCE my doctor to do the surgery! I'm sick of these ridiculous cramps! 

My surgery is scheduled for April 29. I was bummed I have to wait a whole month but that's what happens when you go to a popular Dr and popular hospital I guess! I'm excited to see what will become of the surgery. I am on a waiting list to get in sooner, but I'm no real hopeful that that will actually happen. (But praying it does!)

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Uhhh.... what do I do with this?

Today during dinner a few of us were telling "Dr. horror stories" and I was reminded of a funny encounter Jacob had at the very beginning of this whole TTC process.

2 years ago~ shortly after we tossed out the birth control, Jacob went in for a semen analysis~we just wanted to make sure things were working.  All the doctor gave him was those little plastic cups.

So we go home~ he does the deed~ I find it sorta like payback for me having to pee in a cup all the time. Hee hee. He didnt find it so funny. I guess now he has to "pee" (ahem) n a cup all the time too... not funny for either of us. Anyway, back to the story. So it's around 5:00 pm and he rushes it to the lab. Apparently everyone is trying to get their lab work in at this time before the clinic closes. He sees a bunch of people we know. (Mind you he has NO bag to put his "ingredients" in, so he's just holding it.) Flushed face, trying to shield the cup from everyone's eyes. When he finally gets up to the counter he hands it over awkwardly saying "uhh what do I do with this?"  The lady says, "what is it?" Really? You can't tell? "Semen Analysis," Jacob replies. The lady proceeds to further his embarrassment by yelling to the back, "We got a Semen Analysis here! Where do these go?" Talk about wanting to shrink into a little ball! Poor guy.  They then tell him they're sorry they can't take the sample because it needs a whole day to process. 

They gave him another cup AND a brown bag thank goodness. :o)

Ahh the stories those of us with broken pipes have! 

Hey, it builds character right?

Monday, March 21, 2011

Multitude Mondays

I've seen this on a few different blogs and thought this would be a {great} way to start my week's!

Being {Thankful}, {Joyful}, {Blessed}... these are the things I want to dwell on. Not on the trials, the hurt, the disappointments in life. So often I find myself not being thankful for what is right in front of me. The daily incidences in our lives that we forget to give Glory to God for.


1 Thessalonians 5:18 

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

So without further adieu... here is the first of my 1000 gifts list.

1. My unconditional loving husband
2. A perfect, sweet pup
3. A newly cleaned out and organized garage
4. Fun dinner with friends
5. A job I love and believe in
6. An extended family that lives in the same town
7. Thai food
8. Sleeping in on Saturdays
9. A church that we can call home
10. Night time bible readings with my hubby

Friday, March 18, 2011

TTC Update

{Trying To Conceive Update}
So where are we at this month? 

Well... I'm not sure. We're just {waiting around} for aunt Flo to arrive so we can get this show on the road! Dang you Flo.Seriously.

I'm having another Dr. review my labs- just to make sure Dr. O's office didn't miss anything.  That's one thing that I really dont understand about Dr's. They dont tell you (everything). They may say, "oh it's normal." when it's really NOT normal. Or they make check for one thing and not the other (more important) issue.  Not to mention that when you ask how everything looks they dont let you see your results. Annoying.  I've had to slowly learn to be pushy about my health and my body. I have a right to know these things!

I'm still in the dark for the most part about what next month will hold for me. Surgery... possibly. Another go at the IUI...possibly.  IVF... NOT possible. Unless someone wants to pay for it that is. :o) Any takers? Yeah... didn't think so.  Moving on all together...possibly.

In the meantime I've started on a Gluten Free lifestyle.  I normally dont pay much attention to the things I eat. I dont eat horribly, but I wouldn't say I was a really healthy eater either. I recently learned about how eating gluten free can help with a myriad of issues. Particularly dealing with infertility, miscarriage, ovarian cysts, and endometriosis.  {I'll expand more on this in a future post.}

We've had a few other family related issues come up recently that have been causing some serious stress for me~ I'm constantly tense and can feel it in all my muscles and my mind doesnt stop running~ so please be praying for those issues.  I may expand more on these too later on.  I have been praying a lot for peace, guidance, assurance, and healing.  It's one thing to pray for your own problems, but for me it's so much more emotional and taxing to be praying on behalf of your family.

 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.  John 14:27


 The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.  James 5:16


Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Proud Wife

 I was so proud of my husband this past weekend as we traveled to Ft.Wayne, Indiana. Jacob works for a church insurance company called Brotherhood Mutual.  It is such an honor to be a part of their company. {Yes, he ALSO manages the personal lines department at our home office! He's a busy guy!}  Jacob has surprised many at how wise he is and his managerial and leadership skills. Being young in the business is a big hurdle to overcome and he has confidently strode over those hurdles and the younger agents AS WELL as the veterans in the business trust and respect him.  I'm amazed at all he has accomplished in his six years in this business! I have such a respect for the man he has become, the work that he does, and the way he provides for us.
I love you baby!

 So handsome!

Getting ready to go to dinner with everyone!

 Brotherhood Mutual Home Office-- it's much bigger than the picture shows-- and a beautiful building!

 The table decorations at our banquet! Gorgeous!

Just us!

Jacob and his regional manager Roy. {Roy is the man!We love him!}


During our brief stay in Indiana, I got to meet with the other agents and their wives from different parts of the country as well as the "big wigs" of Brotherhood.  I met some amazing women there and hope to be able to continue to grow our relationships! 
One story that particularly stuck out to me was from the president of the companies wife. While we were at the spa {rough life I know!} she told a story that her husband had told their daughter about perseverance and attitude; a story about a young man who played basketball. 

This young man was so good that his high school jersey was retired. He went on to a big college school (i cant remember which one or what the name of the athlete was!) only to not score a single point in his first 12 games. But not once did he get discouraged. He did not give up. He did not sulk and feel sorry for himself. He kept at it~had a positive attitude~and his next game he had the game of his career and became a legend at his college.

I thought this was such a great lesson! Even when things are tough, especially after periods of our life when everything seems to be going our way then the tables turn, you have to keep a positive attitude. You can't let life get to you. 
Greatness is in you, good things are to come... just keep on keeping on!

Sunday, March 13, 2011

My Favorites

I'm linking up with my blogger friend Lyndsie- she gave me the idea for my "favorites" post!

Favorite time of day: Late afternoon, after I get home from work. It's my time alone to relax, clean, and cook before Jacob gets home!

Favorite Season: Fall~ I love fall colors, the warm days and cool nights, and the smells of fireplaces starting up again!

Favorite Month: September for our anniversary and for the great weather, December for holiday fun!

Favorite Holiday: Christmas! How could it not be? :o)

Favorite Color: Pink {although I dont have anything in my house that's pink. But I do love the color!}

Favorite Movies: Tombstone, Tristan & Isolde, Anne of Green Gables, Man from Snowy River

Favorite Celebrity: Carrie Underwood

Favorite TV Shows: Grey's Anatomy, TLC { I love all their shows}, Chuck, Biggest Loser, Dr. Oz

Favorite places to shop: Ann Taylor Loft, Real Deal's, Target and our very own hometown Lucky Endz!

Favorite thing to do: Going for walks with friends and our pups, getting out of town with my hubby!

Favorite animal: Horses are my favorite~but of course I love my pup the most!

Favorite vacation place: Caribbean Cruise

Favorite Restaurant: Melting Pot & Thai

Favorite thing to cook: Chocolate Chip Cookies

Favorite drink: Vanilla Coke or a Chocolate Milkshake

Favorite Chore: Cleaning the kitchen

Favorite Makeup: Bare Minerals Foundation~ MAC for the eyes and cheeks

Favorite Perfume: Ralph Lauren

Favorite thing to blog about: Our future babies/Infertility struggles

Favorite books: Firefly Lane by Kristin Hannah, Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers,

Favorite verse: I have so many~ but Jeremiah 29:11 always sticks out.

Favorite thing to wear: Jeans, a t-shirt, and my boots or flip flops.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

God's Destiny

"His favor is for a lifetime..." Psalm 30:5

“I have an advantage. God is in control of my destiny. He’s fighting my battles for me. He is my vindicator, and it’s just a matter of time before things change in my favor. I love the scripture in Hebrews that says, “Don’t cast away your confidence.” One translation says, “...for payday is coming.” In the difficult times, you have to remind yourself that payday is on its way! God is a faithful God. If you’ll keep doing the right thing, honoring Him and expecting His favor, God has promised He will pay you back. He will restore everything in your life that the enemy has stolen so you can live the abundant life He has promised to you." Joel Osteen

I love this...for payday is coming. It is a daily battle sometimes to REALLY believe that God has favor on you when you are going through trials and tribulation. But it IS true and we need to get this ingrained into our minds and spirits. Yes, God is faithful. He will restore you. He will give you abundant life.

{Sometimes it is not the life we expected. But it will be an abundant, fulfilling, purposeful life if we keep on fighting the good fight, honoring and obeying God's commands.}

I read this devotional on a Fellow Infertility Blogger post:

One reason God doesn’t give you the full picture of his plans for your life is that you may be overwhelmed by what you see. For instance, it may appear impossible for you to complete everything he plans for you during this Decade of Destiny. But that’s the point—there’s no way you can fulfill your mission without God empowering you.

I know I sure would have been overwhelmed if I could've seen my journey ahead of time. But we ask God all the time to show us what He wants us to do. We want him to reveal his plans for us~and then we often don't take the path that He has chosen. We are to choose God's no matter what. Trust in Him. He knows what He is doing~He knows what is best for us.

For it is I who gave you those desires.
Philippians 2:13
{God gave me the desire to be a mother.} 
It was the first desire I had growing up (well...besides being a princess).
It has never went away. 
Only grown stronger. 
Delight in me and I will give you
the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4
 {Rejoice in the Lord today. Thank Him for your trials. Exalt Him for refining you in the fire. Delight in the fact that You have favor in His eyes. 
Praise Him for He will give you the desires of your heart.}

The Lord reigns. Let the earth be glad. Let the distance shores rejoice. 
Clouds and thick darkness surround him. 
Righteousness and Justice are the foundations of His throne.
Fire goes before Him and consumes His foes one every side. 
His lightning lights up the world. 
The earth sees and trembles, the mountains melt like wax before the Lord. 
Before the Lord of all the earth the heavens proclaim His Righteousness 
and all people will see His Glory.

I also wanted to give a quick shout out to another 
Her and her husband have an amazing story and some 
GREAT news they shared recently.
She has been an encouragement to me through her blog. 
So check her out!

Sunday, March 6, 2011

The Big "O"

No, I'm not talking about that "O"... i'm talking about Ovulation!

Ovulation is the release of a mature egg from the ovarian follicle. Each cycle, several ovarian follicles begin to mature and develop under the influence of pituitary hormones. Usually only one follicle develops fully. While the other follicles recede, this dominant follicle produces an egg which will be released and which can be fertilized. The growing follicle secretes increasing amounts of the hormone estrogen. Following peak estrogen production, there is a surge of luteinizing hormone (LH). The LH surge triggers the release of the mature egg from its follicle. This is ovulation.

The LH hormone is what the OPK's pick up.

Once ovulated, the egg is picked up by one of the fallopian tubes and begins to travel towards the uterus in the fallopian tube. This is where fertilization, if it is to happen, takes place. 

The lifespan of the egg after ovulation is just 12-24 hours, maybe even less. Fertilization must take place within this timeframe. After this timeframe, the egg begins to degenerate and is no longer capable of being fertilized. This is why it's so critical to time your "baby dance" around ovulation. It's such a short window of opportunity each cycle.  The good thing is that sperm can live longer (averaging 3-4 days, but studies have shown that they can live in the fallopian tube for up to 7 days!).

So when does ovulation take place?
Usually it takes place about 2 weeks before your period, although it can vary widely! (as in my case)
For an average 28 day cycle, the usual ovulation period is between days 14 and 16.  Those of us who have longer cycles will ovulate later-- I found out after charting that I ovulated around days 19-22. (with about a 30-35 day cycle)

There are a few days to detect oncoming ovulation: charting, observing cervical fluid, and opk's.  I like opk's the best because they give you the best 2 days to conceive.  Cervical fluid is hard to decipher and not every woman can tell the difference.  More on cervical fluid deciphering here!

Charting tells you the day you ovulate-- although you can't tell until after you already have.  But if you keep a record of a few months, you can usually tell around the time that is normal for you.

Here is my favorite charting tool website-- Fertility Friend.

You can also use a Ovulation Calculator. You put in the date of your last period and your cycle length and it will give you an approximate day that you will ovulate. The one in the link above will even tell you the best days to conceive a boy or a girl! {it's all in theory though- dont think it will work 100% of the time!}

 After you ovulate, you'll have to wait 7-10 days for implantation! And it may take a little longer after that for you to be able to get a + result on your pregnancy test!

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Chocolate Cyst & Cancelled Cycles

I used to like chocolate.

Now it doesn't seem so appealing. {ok maybe not, but it still makes me angry to hear the word chocolate and think about what i'm about to tell you}

Chocolate Cysts.

Have you ever heard of them?

{crickets sounding}

Yeah, me either. Until Tuesday morning.

Tuesday during my routine ultrasound I asked the ultrasound tech how many good follicles there were, and if she could show me where the Dr. might have seen endometriosis in me.  She said "I'll let the doctor decide if its good, and you do have some endometriosis in there. You have a chocolate cyst. I had no clue what she was talking about but I was frustrated that she wouldnt tell me how many follicles I had. I went out to the waiting room so she could ask the Dr. what the next step was. When she called me back again she told me to take my OPK's (ovulation predictor kits) and call when it's positive. And then she said "oh by the way, he probably wants to take that cyst out."  

Well gee thanks lady. Nice of you to have some compassion. I was even more confused because I still didnt know if I had good follicles, if I was going to do the IUI, or get my usual hcg shot.  So later that afternoon I had my husband call the nurses to get a more clear idea of what's going on.  I had great follicles, my body looked like it was doing what it was supposed to do (ovulate on its own), and if I didnt get pregnant this cycle then we'd talk surgery.

Here's what I'm bummed about: we are going to be out of town soon, during what will probably be "prime time", so we can't do the IUI. I'm not going to change my whole life around for this and cancel trips- we already have to work around my bodies schedule so much anyway. Dr. didnt want to give me the shot and do the IUI before we left because, well, I dont really know, other than I figure it's because they want my body to ovulate naturally.

Part of me is so upset, and part of me is realistic in that if I really do have endometriosis, and I know I have the chocolate cyst in my ovaries, then I probably wouldnt get pregnant anyway, IUI or not. No use in spending more money and enduring the process for no reason.  However, I DID have good follicles- so I guess it's a catch 22!  With that being said, we will try on our own still, and you never know! 

Mark 9:23-24) 23 Jesus said to him, "“If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.”" 24 Immediately the father of the child cried out with tears, “I believe. Help my unbelief!”

Reality is that I will probably have the surgery next month. So that's another 2 months {at least} down the drain. Probably more due to healing time. Uggh.

Back to the Chocolate Cysts.
These are cysts that form when endometrial tissue (the type that lines the inside of the uterus) invades an ovary. It is responsive to monthly hormonal changes, which causes the cyst to fill with blood. It’s called a “chocolate cyst” because the blood is a dark, reddish-brown color. {can you see why eating chocolate is now a problem for me-- now for you too! haha!}

In lamens terms, a chocolate cyst is endometriosis of the ovary.

Here is some more info about it.

I know, it's kind of a gross picture. If you really want to be grossed out, google "chocolate cyst" and look up some real images. Uck!

March is Endometriosis Awareness Month

You'll be hearing more about this issue this month!