32 Weeks and Where Were We A Year Ago.

A year ago I was recovering from my Endometriosis surgery, wandering what the future would hold for our chance of having a baby. I had a cyst taken out, a bad case of endometriosis, and a blocked tube. I was taking lupron shots to stop my period for what was supposed to be 6 months long, although after 4 months of torture with those shots I stopped them! 

You can read about my surgery here.

I cannot believe it's been a YEAR since my surgery. A year ago we did not know if we would be able to have kids on our own, more IUI's and shots and procedures were on our to do list, my body was wore out and miserable... and here we are today almost to the end of my pregnancy! 

 A miracle and a blessing indeed! 

 

{Treasuring} every moment!

This was technically taken yesterday-- This shirt is almost too short to wear anymore!

Wearing a dress=I look very large!! Haha! I got a lot of comments today when I wore this to work. :o)

PREGNANCY STATS UPDATE

How far along: 32 Weeks--Entering the 8th MONTH!!!!

 

Size of Baby: Size of a Squash! {about 3.5-4 lbs and 16-19 inches long}

 

Total weight gain: +29 lbs
 
Maternity clothes? Oh yes-- not a chance without them now. Some of my shirts/tank tops I can get by in, and my workout shorts and yoga pants still fit.
 
Stretch marks? Not yet
 
Sleep: After a week of horrible sleep I FINALLY got a body pillow and OMG I'm sleeping so much better! Definitely recommend one of those to all you preggo's out there!

Best moment this week: Celebrating my first Mother's Day. :o)

Miss Anything? Sleeping on my stomach
 
Movement: He wiggles around regularly through the day now, although he's still a pretty chill baby it seems. At night he wiggles around a lot more and my whole stomach contorts!
 
Food cravings: Craving pop! Been eating a lot of fruit, bbq, cheese sticks and corn. Haha!
 
Gender: Boy
 
Labor Signs: No
 
Symptoms: It's been HOT outside so I'm definitely swelling. My feet hurt more now especially after being up a lot and in the evenings. Some carpel tunnel pain.
 
Belly Button in or out? Pops in and out, depending on how he's situated at the moment.
 
Wedding rings on or off? Off for now during this heat wave!
 
Looking forward to: Going on a semi vacation this week. (Half work/have vacation!)
 
Milestones: Baby has toenails, fingernails and real hair!

Starting All Over

Today I had my appointment with the new doctor.

I had mixed feelings about it today. But I think I'm at peace with it now.

1. I LOVE the clinic. Everyone was super efficient (nice change of pace), very friendly (hallelujah), and FAST (praise the Lord)!

2. I like the new doctor. He is very friendly, warm, and caring.

3. The nurse is anal about "time management" in the office. (I told her about how I had to wait hours to see Dr.O and she flipped out. haha!)

I guess I was more nervous going into it than I thought. I haven't had to really worry about TTC since before my surgery in April so the pressure has been off.

I have a cold so I wasnt feeling my best today, and when I got there they informed me that Dr. O's office had STILL not faxed over my records, which I have been working on getting for a couple weeks. I actually told them yesterday I NEED these faxed today because my appointment is tomorrow. Do you think they can do that simple task? Nope. I called while in the waiting room and of course they made up some excuse and didn't fax them over until AFTER my appointment was done. So I was a little on edge anyways when the appt started, then I had to try and remember everything we've done so I could tell the new doctor and I was just a mess. 

My new Dr. (Dr. V) listened and we thinks that we do NOT need to do the IUI's.  This is what really confused me and sort of sent me over the edge. I don't understand why the heck we were doing IUI's in the first place (other than Dr.O said I was killing off the sperm due to a Post Coital test, but Dr. V insists that this test is outdated and inaccurate and endometriosis is the cause of my infertility).

SO... new game plan... in two weeks we start up my cycle, assuming it doesnt start on its own, which it probably wont-- then we start clomid and hcg trigger shot and try naturally.  Jacob was thrilled about this and really feels good about the new doctor, clinic, and plan.  I was just so overwhelmed and confused and emotional about starting ALL over again I couldnt really do anything but cry everytime I tried to talk about it. I guess we've been doing things so differently and seemingly "aggressively" with Dr.O that this seems like going WAY back to the drawing board, trying naturally. Almost like, there's no possible way that will work. I just dont think I can handle going through all of this for another year again. I feel like this is not the aggressive avenue. Those are just my fears coming out.

But, at the same time, God has a plan. He knows what He's doing. I'm here in this place, in this new clinic, and moving forward with this new plan for a reason. I need to let go of my fear. That's really what the emotions are all about. Fear of the "what ifs". Fear of failure. Fear of losing time, losing money, losing hope... 

And then I read this: {From Max Lucado}

"Why are you fearful, O you of little faith? --Matthew 8:26


For all the noise fear makes and room it takes, fear does little good. Fear never wrote a symphony, or poem, negotiated a peace treaty, or cured a disease. Fear never saved a marriage or a business. Courage did that. Faith did that. People who refused to consult or cower to their timidities did that.


Jesus takes our fears seriously. The one statement He made more than any other was this: don't be afraid.  "Do not be afraid. You are worth much more than many sparrows." (Matt. 10:31) "Do not fear, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom." (Luke 12:32)


Jesus is asking me, asking all of us, "Why are you afraid?"  And honestly... why are we?

Hysterosalpinogram

In short... HSG test.  :o)  I was totally freaked out about this test... as you can see in the picture below. It's a similar procedure to the one I had last week that hurt SO bad. Naturally, I was anxiety ridden going into this morning. Good thing we had to get up at 6:00 am to get there in time! 

It also freaked me out more because I had to get in a robe and was taken into this huge x-ray room with all these machines. Luckily, the x-ray tech was a girl about my age who had just done this same exact test recently. Her and her husband have been trying to have kids unsuccessfully for over a year now too. It's very nice to have someone on the other side of the table to relate to! She was very nice, explained everything well, and calming. 

 Here's Jacob with his radiation blocking vest on. He had to put a radiation blocker around his neck too. He's make a good x-ray tech don't you think?!

Here's the instruments that are used for this procedure. (minus the iodine, you can't see it in this picture). Pretty scary looking right? I never like to see these things laying out on the table when I walk into the room.  However, this time around I did totally fine during the test! Jacob had to stand behind me since the radiation from the X-ray is so strong, and I was squeezing his hand so tight, bracing myself, and then it was over! I didn't feel A THING! I couldn't believe it! Still can't! I was positioned slightly different this time so maybe that made the difference. Or maybe the iodine is easier flowing than saline solution. Who knows? I'm just so thankful that it went how it did. Praise Jesus! Hallelujah! I think even Dr.O was surprised. He kept asking how I was doing and if I was ok.

So--test results? Good news: I'm all clear! In fact, the left fallopian tube, which was the one that was completely blocked before the surgery was the side that the iodine flowed through FIRST and the best! Dr.O was very pleased with that.  Yay! No more blockages!

Here's what the test looked like. This one isn't mine... I wish I would've taken a picture of it! I did get to view all of the x-ray's which are pretty cool! Jacob watched the whole thing in live action. He thought it was interesting too.

What's the next step?  We wait for the lupron to get out of my system, my cycle to come back and then we do IUI again!